Day 5: Birdwings

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Breath infused every moment, every transition, every movement.

My body moved like waves, rolling up and over, and up and over.

I contracted and expanded.

I hugged muscles to bone and rooted down through to the center of the earth.

I felt the articulation of my spinal bones as breath weaved it’s way through each vertebrae.

My brain turned off, my body took over, driven by my breath; I felt like I was gliding through the air.

Light as a feather, strong as an ox.

How quiet our strength can be. How quiet our courage, our fear.

I felt words and thoughts that are not yet formed, not yet ready, creating momentum in my soul. A stirring. A knowing. There is much more to come.

As I write this evening I am struggling with this…I want to share so much, and yet it isn’t time yet. The words will come when it’s time. The feeling of freedom in my body today, a freedom that I have not experienced for a long time, is filling me with a desire to have freedom in my mind, in my heart, in my words. I am on the path, that much I know, but that is it. And maybe that is enough. Maybe being here, now, in this, is all I need to know. There is no before, and no after. Only this. And so I leave you with these words by Rumi:

BirdWings by Rumi

Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror up to where you’re bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look, and instead, here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes, if it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birdwings.

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