In stark contrast to a wide open heart yesterday, today I wanted to wrap myself up in a comforter and forget about the outside world. I wanted to be quiet, inside and outside. Very conscious of all there is to do, it feels as if time is slipping away—there never seems to be enough time to do everything, to be everything—to get all the things done that need to get done so that there is time to just to be, and not do. As my mind takes me deeper into the rabbit hole, my thoughts get darker, and frustration builds within me. Because I feel time leaning on me, it takes me longer to do everything and be everything. Still, half the list hasn’t been tackled.
And how can we be everything?
We can only be who we are, and where we are, when we are where we are.
These thoughts, the way they are going, down and down, make me weary. Tired.
And so, after I have done as much as I can do, in this day, with this time, I wrap myself up in blankets. I turn on Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda. I disappear into their lives, in a city that I used to call home.