Mood Indigo

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there is this place that i continue
to return to,
again and again

it ebbs and it flows,
and sometimes it’s gentle
like the water lapping
onto the shore asking the sand and rocks to join
in the dance of the sea

other times, it’s a tidal wave
so big, so strong,
that i’m certain
that the push of the wave and the pull of the tide
are in it together,
hoping to claim their next prize
for the underwater world
(that surely exists)

moments that bring me back to here and now
seem far and few between
and part of me tires of the search
for a place to rest
my achy body and weary mind

the other part is my warrior
and she is the one that
brings me back up onto my feet
lifting all ten of my toes and
rooting them the earth

she is the one that holds space
so that sadness can exist in love,
and with love

she is the one, i’m sure,
that tells my dog
when to lick my face
and wrap his paws around me
holding me
in his dog embrace

love comes in many forms and shapes
and sometimes,
she is disguised and i don’t recognize
that it’s her standing
right in front of me,
with those soft, kind, strong eyes,
staring back at me

i am beginning to understand
that this isn’t
something for the faint of heart;
there will be times
when the skies are clear
and times when the skies are gray,
this is life

this is my life

i am my warrior
and i wish that i could take my heart
from my chest and crack her open,
for you

then,
you would see,
you would know, for sure,
that everything written within her walls
each word, memory, idea, thought, feeling,
that everything
everything,
is written with love

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